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Open Letter

Naomi Zacharias Zumback, Nathan Zacharias & Margaret Zacharias

We have struggled to know what to say and when. December 23rd was the 3rd anniversary of a marker in time that would forever change our lives and break our hearts.

We can’t convince anyone what we are saying is true and we feel no need to do so. The globally publicized story is plagued with inaccuracy and hostility, and it has caused widespread destruction. In addition to those who continue to use it for their own personal gain, it established a precedent for a process that is dangerous and extends beyond our personal experience and pain.

It is for this reason we speak. The larger battle is indeed God’s and we have resolved to entrust the outcome of the present and future into his hands.

THE PROCESS

On December 23, 2020, we were devastated to read an online statement posted by the RZIM Board of Directors about our husband and father, Ravi Zacharias. We saw it for the first time with the rest of the world. The investigation was still in progress and RZIM had not examined evidence. At this point, we had to take their word on their conclusions.

Our mother’s multiple requests to meet with the investigator and to be interviewed as part of the investigation met with silence. As a board member, she was omitted from discussions and information without due process.

Having been sidelined and in the dark about what was happening, we made multiple attempts to communicate with the board. They did not respond.

In January 2021, Margaret and Naomi were emailed by a representative from the Governance Committee of the Board of Directors of RZIM and asked to meet with him away from the office. During that meeting, Margie, a co-founder, was told to resign her positions on the board and on the staff, which she did under duress. She was told that only then could the board provide a severance agreement for her. When she complied, communication ceased.

An agreement proposed months later included impossible contingencies. Naomi was informed she was being let go and paperwork would follow imminently; it did not. The lack of communication from RZIM, our confusion over what was unfolding, a false narrative that appeared to be developing, and the treatment of Margie created concern and growing distrust for us with the board. In February, the same representative of the Governance Committee emailed Naomi and told her to submit a resignation and backdate it. She did not comply.

In February of 2021, we read a publicly posted damning statement from the RZIM Board of Directors that was released with the final investigative report authored by lead investigator Lynsey Barron, an associate of Miller & Martin at the time. We read it for the first time with the rest of the world.

The RZIM Board statement reached beyond Ms. Barron’s report and the investigators’ conclusions and declared guilt for unsubstantiated and criminal accusations. A few RZIM associates piled on with their own statements over social media, pronouncing Ravi guilty of serious accusations that weren’t investigated.

Later, we learned neither Board Statement was written by the RZIM Board, nor was each board member’s review or support obtained. Their position was exploited to lend credibility to extreme declarations of guilt.

Prior to releasing the final report and their corresponding statement, RZIM invited Ms. Barron and her associates to the office and facilitated a presentation of the investigative report for board members, staff, and non-staff they invited to attend. Having received no contact or information from them, we asked to attend in order to learn the contents of the report. This was denied and no other option to hear and review the information with the board or the investigator was offered or provided.

The claim that the board statement, conclusion, and subsequent decisions were a unanimous board decision is misleading; instead, board members who did not agree with the desired conclusions and course of action were encouraged to resign prior to the board vote entered into the record.

Requests for our mother to see the contents of the report prior to releasing it beyond the board were denied. The board chose not to communicate or contact her personally or directly with the process, findings, their conclusions, public communications, or their way forward. As a co-founder, this was devastating; As his wife, the abandonment, shock, and pain were excruciating.

With the assistance of an attorney, we obtained a copy of the investigative report hours before public release.

RZIM BOARD

Past and present board members have acknowledged to us that neither the interim or final board statements included input or discussion with the full board; they said they do not agree with the conclusions published and the criminal accusations, specifically.  We cannot speak to the conspicuous public silence of others; we can only choose not to stay silent.

RZIM offered counseling service to all staff; we were excluded. We did not voice objection to this. But when a young grandchild needed urgent support for safety and wellbeing, we reached out with a plea for help for the child. The board denied this request.

Every employee, including Margaret and Naomi, received a written statement that released them from terms of a standard employment nondisclosure agreement. It stated every employee was free to speak about their personal experience. But the Board excluded Margie and Naomi by revoking that freedom for them, and said they were withdrawing severance agreements. Insurance for the minor children was cut off without warning and severance was uncertain.

A brief explanation of these actions from RZIM’s legal team specifically referenced Nathan’s blog as to why they cut off severance discussions and withdrew agreements from his mother and sister. Severance was then cut-off, without notice.

After prolonged silence, the board returned with proposed agreements that included contingencies. They offered to provide fair severance, and financial support for the new humanitarian initiative Naomi launched to serve international relief programs RZIM left vulnerable when announced they were closing Wellspring International. In exchange, Margie and Naomi would have to sign a binding legal agreement that required their silence about our experience into perpetuity. Additionally, it forbade them from reaching out to or responding to relationships we cultivated over the past forty years for any future worthy endeavors. It required Naomi’s “cooperation” in stating she submitted a resignation. If they violated the agreement, RZIM reserved the right to sue for both breach of contract and their legal fees. Margie and Naomi declined the agreements.

Accusations that anyone in Ravi’s family thought what he has been accused of was occurring are categorically false.  Ongoing statements and gossip by existing board members who blame and accuse his wife are unconscionable. When no attempt has been made to speak to her or hear from her, it is difficult to surmise the basis for this conclusion.  It harks back to an old school mindset to blame a man’s wife for his perceived sin, and it is wrong.

What we can tell you is that who we knew Ravi to be – across the span of our entire lives with him, within a close family, within many contexts and across many spheres – is in complete contradiction with the narrative of the report and the conclusions of RZIM’s public statements; it is logically impossible to reconcile the two.

He loved his family deeply, his grandchildren were the apples of his eye, with respect for every individual, regardless of who they might be. He was generous, gracious, and carried the heavy responsibility on his back for a ministry that had become a machine and grown beyond his vision. He believed in the truth of the Gospel. After pain, medicine, and disease took over and he was no longer in control of his faculties, it was still the Gospel he whispered through declining of stages of consciousness.

We cannot explain RZIM’s claims they did everything they could for us, that their response reflects a love they maintain they have for us and for him, or their public claims we were taken care of.

THE INVESTIGATION

We believe the premise and precedent of an investigation after someone has died is inherently flawed, unjust, dangerous, and cannot make conclusions with comprehensive certainty. RZIM leadership informed the staff that lead investigator, Lynsey Barron and the legal firm Miller & Martin, with whom they entered into a work for hire agreement, were specifically chosen for their potential bias against Ravi.

We believe this investigation was biased against him, as they said. Investigative and legal experts we have consulted with have agreed.

To our knowledge, standard procedure for the chain of custody for evidence was not followed. Investigators reportedly imposed bias in interviews and displayed aggression with interviewees who didn’t agree with the desired narrative. The interim and final report omitted credible testimony, including the perspective of trained IT and personal security detail.

It was we, his family, that released and provided his phones and laptop; it was not RZIM. We did not receive a forensic report, as requested. It took considerable effort to get the phones returned to us. We have not been able to find referenced photos and data.

When victim advocacy groups present gender bias and give specific instructions to an organization to include messaging to dehumanize the accused and his family, it calls into question their belief of what every human is worth. When consultants and accusers are recipients of multiple thousands of dollars, without a standard or threshold for evidence for the conclusions reached, the exploration for truth has a challenge to overcome. While they may disagree, granting one side money and a voice with the other silenced by death isn’t justice. Any victim of sexual violence has endured violation and tragedy. This process did not serve future victims and survivors of abuse; it promoted a system that leaves them vulnerable to exploitation and disbelief. It is a broken system that makes both the accused and the accuser pawns and prey.

For these reasons, we do not believe in the integrity of this investigation and do not accept unsubstantiated conclusions stated as inerrant truth. Evidence failed to support the veracity, confidence, and extreme nature of their conclusions.

Those who cancel Ravi and purport the right to damn him cannot be certain of comprehensive truth or that the story they offered the world is the truth; they aren’t God. They accused Ravi of abusing power and tried him in the court of public opinion, when he was a man silenced by death who could not respond to any allegation made against him.

CHRISTIAN MEDIA

Christianity Today, World Magazine, and National Christian Review are among publications, bloggers, writers and leaders who made no attempt to speak to us prior to or after printing their articles with personal accusations about Ravi and us. Someone who claims to be a journalist and makes no effort to hear and present the other side is not conducting a legitimate investigation or reasonably seeking truth. A single example is provided later.

We did not receive, nor did we possess, the millions reported. An approximately $45M insurance policy received upon his death was not for his wife; RZIM was the beneficiary. Since no one else will correct this false information, we are doing so. Contrary to reports, Ravi’s estate held nothing to take. The quantity and degree of false reporting is too much to detail.

RZIM ASSOCIATES

The RZIM workplace and totality of ministry was labeled toxic by a few individuals who did not represent the whole and chose a scorched earth approach. When Ravi was alive, they sought gain from association with his respected name. Now that it has been canceled and destroyed, they still use his name to promote themselves by way of their condemnation. They do not lend voice to what was good within an organization; one that he gutted himself to build developed platforms for other voices to speak and hear the Gospel. And they give no recognition to those who believe Ravi impacted their lives and faith for profound good.

We find it hypocritical that former employees continue to take financial support today in grants from RZIM to support their personal endeavors, while they demonize Ravi and separate themselves from any public connection to him. A group of former associates walked away with multiple millions in real estate while they condemned him. They say they regret and abandon any connection to Ravi and to the ministry, but their moral superiority does not prevent them from taking and indulging in what is still provided for them as a result of his effort.

We find it ironic and incongruent when they use platforms that Ravi and RZIM built on their behalf to promote their current perspective, but fail to hold and acknowledge good that was present and extended to them and to others.

We learned that some colleague relationships we valued did not include the mutual respect and friendship we thought was there. We accept this and can find gratitude within this specific sorrow, that God removed us from something that wasn’t real. We remain grateful to God for the years he gave us alongside many we loved who shared mission for the Gospel we believe in.

THE CHURCH

The response from the mainstream evangelical church and many of its leaders is unbiblical. If we all carry essential worth, so does Ravi. If grace and redemption are real, no flawed human gets to choose who is excluded.

If women matter and should be heard, it is true for the female spouse of an accused man, too. Female accusers who are compelled to go public with their stories, yet leave a wife who is affected nameless, do not validate her humanity or call for any else to support her, promote a loss for every woman. If collectively or individually there are exceptions to any of these, the evangelical church isn’t living by the Gospel it is preaching.

We remember Ravi’s last speaking event, an open forum at the University of Miami. He was in extreme pain, thought to be caused by the worn hardware failing to support his spine. We would soon learn that the cause was both worn hardware and Stage 4 cancer.

We asked him to cancel that event, observing his pain. But the ministry told him he had to do it because people were depending on him. And so, he did, and without any pain medication because he didn’t want to risk anything affecting his ability to respond to a questioner. This is an accurate picture to describe fifty years in ministry. Now, the story arc has been changed and those who pushed him and extracted from him stand on the frontlines to condemn him.

If ministry and church leaders believe this investigation to be credible, they would do well to explore their treatment of him and others; how they used him to further their names, acclaim, pulpit, bottom line, and purposes. If they believe there is truth to the conclusions, the construct of ministry and the evangelical church is not without responsibility for the way they commodify a person in the name of ministry and push for performance beyond reasonable human limits, thresholds of pain, and requests for reprieve. Where is the care for someone, for their own sake?

But nothing is changing as they stand in self-righteous judgement, elevating themselves far above it.

Nothing has grieved us more than what has been done to our mother. If you believe the conclusions of the report, it was the loss of her entire life. If and where they are wrong, it’s the loss of her entire life. Blaming her has no basis in reality or biblical principle. It is not the claimed departure from what is damaging in patriarchy but the reinforcement of it, and it is beneath human decency.

Jordan Peterson describes betrayal in Dante’s inferno – the experience of betrayal is one rung above the devil in hell. She was planted there with no way out in this earthly life, no matter what you believe about him. The ministry, the church, and people she invested in, served, and loved her entire life – friends, colleagues, and acquaintances – walked away without a word.

AUDIO/VISUAL MATERIALS

RZIM owns the legal rights to audio and video material that contains the intellectual property of Ravi Zacharias while he was employed by RZIM. They released personal IP rights to other associates for their content but have withheld Ravi’s.

When they announced they would no longer make his material available, we initiated the request to acquire the rights to use the material. For two and a half years, we have attempted to do so. We asked RZIM to reconsider their decision to remove the option of personal choice for an individual to access his material or not. We expressed our desire to obtain the rights if they were not going to do so.

We reached an impasse in October 2023 when RZIM agreed to transfer temporary and limited rights if we agreed to contingencies, including surrendering our freedom to speak. We declined.

RZIM has possession of some of Ravi’s material that pre-dates RZIM. We have repeatedly requested that they return it; they remain silent. 

DOCUMENTS

We are making two documents available for those seeking to understand aspects of the colossal destructive chaos referred to as an investigation into the life of a man who had died, and had no voice of his own and has been further silenced by those who claim every voice matters.

The first document is an email sent confidentially by Naomi to Pastor Sam Allberry, a former RZIM associate and the person who pastorally buried our husband and father in a private and intimate family graveyard burial. The email is dated January 27, 2021. Sam gave it to writer, David French, and together they used his media platform to take something written in confidence from a woman to a pastoral figure, remove context and manipulate a partial thought to paint a picture he wanted to paint.

French presented his misquote as a toxic demand for loyalty to her father, as seen below in this screenshot taken from his piece in The Dispatch.

However, the sentence that followed, had he not cut off her words, specifically states the opposite. Sam did not honor the confidence requested, nor did he respond – both are his prerogative. But as a Christian leader, what he did with it was dishonest and harmful. It contradicts truth and transparency he claims to uphold. We share the original letter now as a single example in a plethora of misrepresentation, dishonesty, self-serving judgements, and discarding of truth and human beings by Christian leadership and journalism that shouldn’t be tolerated.

For context, Ms. Barron’s interim report had been publicly released one month prior to Naomi’s letter; we had not seen evidence or the final report. At this time, Naomi assumed what had been declared as indisputable truth held indisputable evidence and truth; we would later learn this wasn’t the case. The RZIM Board and some of its leaders claimed Naomi and Margie couldn’t be dealt with because they refused to consider the possibility and reality presented to them; this letter indicates that was not the case, either. Our current conclusions are based, not on a refusal to consider a reality we don’t want to accept, but the absence of evidence, and a process that revealed it was not a search for truth.

The letter to Sam can be viewed here.

The second letter attached was sent to the RZIM Board of Directors on October 27, 2023. It is our response to their recent decision to grant (temporary) rights to his material if we agreed to their contingencies. These contingencies were applied at the final stage of the process after requests from the board representative and our mutual agreement to keep this matter separate from our personal disagreements over their actions. Their contingencies were followed by this statement: “We very much hope that our agreement will be forthcoming and your use of this material to continue to present God’s truth, through Ravi’s voice and likeness, will bear much fruit.” The attached document was our reply. None of the board members have responded.

If his material is God’s truth, and will bear fruit, why do they make it inaccessible? Why add personal contingencies, irrelevant to the truth and purposefulness of the material? It has been confusing and whether intended or not, with the history of our communication with them over the course of nearly three years, a mental game we discontinued.

There is a disparity between their private and public claims. There is a disparity between their claims and actions. There has been no attempt to acknowledge decisions that were abandonment and brought pain. The attachment details multiple attempts to communicate during the process, each one met with silence.

The letter to the Board can be viewed here.

We do want to make it clear that while our words are strong and our disagreements deep, we in no way intend to convey these are “bad men.” God has used them in many lives and we believe He will continue to. But we are grieved by their decisions and do not understand their silence and actions.

CONCLUSION

This statement scratches the surface of what the last three years have held. It is impossible to address it completely.

What is devastatingly and frighteningly wrong about this process extends beyond our husband and father and any personal impact on us. The rules and conduct of this investigation paved the way in future cases for the innocent to be as vulnerable to condemnation as the guilty.

The collateral damage in lives, families, and even missions is immeasurable.

These are our conclusions. We share this because it is what happened and if there is even one person it serves to hear it, it is here for them. Our focus now is rebuilding our lives in safe environments to care for our young children and grandchildren. We leave the battle and the outcome of this larger story in the hands of the One who holds all truth.

Margaret Zacharias

Naomi Zacharias Zumback

Nathan Zacharias

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Nothing Has Changed

Many people have written in to ask if a quiet blog means something has changed. As was the case before, no, nothing has changed. We still believe in Dad’s innocence, we still believe the investigation was biased and unethical, and we believe RZIM’s leadership mishandled many things, as well.

Unfortunately, because Dad is no longer here, our official options to clear his name are extremely limited. It’s been easy for people to assume that we have certain options at our disposal. We do not. Dad was denied due process, yet our system prevents us from more aggressively fighting it because of his absence. The whole thing, starting several years back, has successfully, and cruelly, navigated a series of cracks in the system that dishonest people can, and have, used to their advantage.

But we maintain that we have not found the evidence claimed in the report, nor any items/communications in other formats/belongings that would hint at any of this being true.

Another reason for not posting more about some of the nonsense out there is that I have not wanted this blog to become one of destruction. People often ask me what I have to say about the latest thing said by one of the opportunists born out of this situation. There are plenty of ways I could go after them and the high horse of cards from where they erroneously judge my Dad. Some of them have straight up lied and rewritten their own story at RZIM to change the things I, and others, WITNESSED them to say/do over the years.

I could take them on more directly, but it would very easily turn from defending Dad into just mudslinging. And that would be no better than those who have chosen to destroy just to make a name/career for themselves. So while there are those who still weigh in from time to time, I will not be responding to them despite their list of lies and misrepresentations.

However, even though there is no massive update, I will list a few previously unsaid details that we’ve learned, as well as a recap of a few things I’ve already shared.

  • My mom was never questioned. She has knowledge that could be used to verify if these accusers were telling the truth or lying, something that is actually standard practice in such investigations. And she knew the man for 54 years. Instead they chose not to talk to her at all. What sort of allegedly objective investigation would not speak to the person’s spouse?
  • We know they biased one key person against Dad by telling him Dad was guilty before they interviewed him, and then that person in turn spread that news to others before they were interviewed. And we know they physically intimidated another interviewee who was defending Dad.
  • There was no chain of custody given for the phones they examined, something that many attorneys and investigators have told us is a significant red flag and cause to discredit the whole process.
  • Though we don’t know all names involved, we do know some. And for one of the supposedly most “credible” of them, we have documentation/testimony sent in to RZIM at one point giving extensive detail and history as to why the accuser should not be believed.
  • There was at least one very significant testimony defending Dad, from someone who had a unique and important vantage point of Dad’s behavior. In fact, you could argue that in recent years he had more eyewitness account of Dad’s travel life than anyone else. That person said they never witnessed anything that gave a hint of things like this, and they were disappointed to see that their testimony was not included in the report. A fair report would have included all sides related to the subject matter, not just what fit the narrative they wanted.
  • We have not found the photos or communications mentioned in the report, or any others that cause concern. It would mean every single piece of evidence on that phone had been deleted and was only found through forensic investigation. That does not make sense or seem likely.
  • We have texts from two public sources of “information,” Vicki Blue & Anurag Sharma. For more information on those, you can read about them in previous posts. But one thing I did not include from before, was a couple of exchanges between Anurag and my Dad. At one point, Anurag asks Dad if he would be his “Catholic brother for 55 minutes.” (And, no, Dad was not Catholic, this was just Anurag’s choice of words as he was referring to the practice of confessing to a priest.) He then goes on to talk about some things he wanted to change in his life. But that does not make sense. If you believed a man to be a moral deviant, would you go to him asking for help with your own challenges? Would you see that person as one of spiritual and moral authority? No, you wouldn’t.
  • Anurag also says at one point, “Sir Ji, I am going through a lot including very unreasonable thoughts at time. I guess I am not at ease with the cards life has dealt with me.”[sic] I wonder, how far did these unreasonable thoughts go? Did they extend to the change in his account of Dad’s life after he passed?
  • I’ve shown that M&M manipulated at least one fact, taking it out of context (driving directions) and reporting it as an inappropriate one (massage directions). If they did that, why should we assume they didn’t do that with anything else?
  • We have accounts from (now) former board members who questioned the report and objected to what RZIM was going to do with it. They were verbally intimidated to vote with the majority or abstain, rather than vote no. One dissenting member was told to resign BEFORE the vote rather than vote no, as she intended.
  • We have it in writing from one board member mentioning the fact that they knew there are things in there that may not be reliable. It’s no secret that they believed some of it. But they didn’t believe all of it. This board member wrote the others and asked the question about if they should they release the things they weren’t certain about. Of course we know now that they did release the full report. But before someone says, “well they changed their minds on the accuracy of the report,” we know there are significant details in there that they KNOW FOR A FACT are false. Not just speculation but provably false. But they didn’t remove them as they didn’t want to have to tell people they edited the report. With their selective transparency, they couldn’t say they made corrections to a report while also claiming it was a reliable document. And nor could they stand to have someone saying they weren’t being transparent. So they released it in full, uncorrected. And then through their own statement they allowed people to believe that every detail was true. They even declared as true things that the report didn’t even say were proven.
  • During staff meetings, staff were told that Mom and Naomi were begged to stay. That is simply not true. They were forced out. Others were told Naomi was given support from RZIM for both herself and a new venture. That, too, is a lie.
  • The then Chairman of the Board in 2021 also spoke to the staff about the disagreement within the family on the findings. Not only did he describe it in ways that weren’t true, for him to have done that in an official capacity at an official meeting is incredibly unprofessional and inappropriate. This statement about the family, our situation, and our alleged care were so bizarre and dishonest, why should we trust them with the rest of the situation?

There is much else that has gone on since then, and each development has only reinforced our belief in Dad and distrust in the process. If you are new to do this blog, I hope you’ll take the time to read some of the more detailed posts outlining these things, and more.

So while I don’t expect to post much more, that is simply a result of the limitations we face, not a change in our beliefs about what transpired. We remain at Dad’s defense.

The Party Has Spoken

I thought I was largely done posting, but when things are posted at a high level I feel it important to respond. So here’s what’s new. 

Big news for you apologists out there, as you’ve all been unionized by Sean McDowell, Mike & Debbie Licona, Paul Copan, and William Lane Craig. Those 5 people have now declared themselves your governing committee. So despite the fact that they are not a church or organization that anyone agreed to submit to, they can now publicly deem people unfit for ministry. 

Their first mission, was do to another investigation, because really, we were due for another one anyways. I mean, if you’re not doing an investigation every couple of months are you really even living? And you’re only as relevant as the publicity of your latest investigation and judgment. They say they spent 1000 hours, which sounds like a lot until you realize that’s just over 8 days a person on the committee.

Best not to move too slowly when deciding you’re going to wipe out another person or three.

That said, I should be thankful. Because had it been 1001 hours, it’s quite likely they would have said that Dad also created Covid, tried to steal Christmas from Whoville, and was frequently seen around the office wearing a top hat and twirling his mustache while diabolically staring into the camera. 

While it’s no secret I have differed strongly with RZIM’s leadership in their opinions and handling of this situation, to claim that they intimidated people and greased the wheels for Dad these last few years is absolutely absurd. And they have collectively made so many statements and apologies. They went to great lengths to care for those who claimed they were mistreated by leadership. (Claims that are ridiculous but claims, nevertheless)

They continued to pay former employees who had publicly separated from them. Ruth was put on paid leave so she hadn’t worked there in months, but then only complained when they officially cut ties with her. She hadn’t been doing her job as mutually agreed, and was glad to accept the paycheck to not do her job, as mutually agreed. It was only once the paychecks were going to stop that she resumed her public critique of them and acted sad that she could not do the job she hadn’t been doing for months.

The only people RZIM withheld counseling and resources from, were us. If the M&M report was true (and again, I don’t believe it for good reasons)…but even if it was true, I don’t know what else these are supposed to do to that would appease this self appointed Party. There was no more earth left to scorch. No more swords left to fall on. Yet these three are now declared unfit. That is ridiculous and not within this self elected committee’s authority to do so. 

As for some of the additional “findings,” they are from the same usual suspects, and they are full of so many lies it is hard to know where to begin. While billed as a moral compulsion to investigate those who were once investigators, this one actually seems like it had a goal going in – to pit Dad against Nabeel. And that was never the dynamic between the two of them. Dad took the blame from those who disagreed with Nabeel’s departure from RZIM, but it wasn’t his doing. And it is clear The Party has continued to hold resentment over that issue. But again, it was not his doing. He was informed of the reasons by all those involved, but the reasons did not come from him. They remained close afterwards, and Mom and Dad remained close with Michelle after Nabeel’s passing. 

I’m puzzled how Dad could be so jealous that he “stranded” Nabeel, so as to send a message and make sure he couldn’t get the spotlight, but then also told Nabeel he was going to be his successor. If.you’re looking to knock someone down a peg it’s usually not advised that you tell them they are going to take over for you one day. So those would seem to be contradictory stories.

Also, conflict during Nabeel’s time there was actually escalated by none other than Ruth M, herself, who complained about his requests for her time when she was a PR person for a whole team. And if there’s one thing you know by now, Ruth doesn’t complain quietly or briefly. She started the ball rolling on what happened with Nabeel. She was a driving and major factor as to why his time ended at RZIM – a fact she has clearly hidden and written over with a new narrative. So I’ll say it again: the decision to part ways did not come from Dad, nor did the reasons. It was decided on and handled by others on the leadership team. To claim otherwise now is a lie. 

One other thing I’ll point out, is that neither Nabeel or Dad are now here to weigh into any of this. Yet the Party is making such sweeping and definitive statements without their input. That is intellectually flawed. These sources are painting this as a Dad vs Nabeel story. But from a logical level, I find it interesting that a different standard of of what can be accepted as evidence is being applied to each case. Anecdotal evidence is allowed for their part of the story that claims to be Nabeel’s, and paints Dad in a certain way. But such anecdotal evidence it is not allowed for the defense of Dad. Truth is truth, whether you like the person saying it or not. The Party likes Ruth, Carson, Amy, Daniel, etc. So their stories are taken as is. They don’t like me or anyone that challenges the narrative they are promoting, so any story countering their sources will be disregarded even though I have close knowledge of the situation. Once again, not a great look for apologists who claim to be experts at looking at all the evidence.

Which reminds me, once again, this is another investigation that did not reach out to us for any information we could provide on the matter. And we have a lot of information. 

Such people will never care what they have taken from others, and from this world, in their witch hunt. They’ve removed materials from the shelves. Speakers from stages. Broken families. And I include Judy Dabler in their list of victims, as she has continued to be wrongly trashed in every report and a victim of her own suspect investigation. Judy changed countless lives for the better. And they’ve prevented people from getting that help now. Their’s is a wake of destruction that the Lord will call into account. 

I’ll close with this. They spent over 3300 words spewing all this nonsense, and they gave one – ONLY ONE – brief sentence acknowledging the pain my sister was going through and how that impacted her, and impacts her still. And as if the brevity of it wasn’t cold enough, the academic tone of it made it as insincere as possible, saying “We acknowledge the pain (Davis) Phillips experienced…” One sentence of her pain, and they couldn’t even bring themselves to use the word trauma, which would be accurate. One mention. Which is half as many times as they mentioned their doctorates in the statement.

Adding to that, they boast about the 1000 hours devoted to this, but not one second of their time has ever been spent in all of this reaching out to my Mom to see if they can minister to her in any way.

Those two measurements tell me more about their brand of Christianity than anything else. Such behavior is not in the calling of ministry. It’s in the business of talking.

Abdu Murray Email

I wrote this post a while back but never came back to it. However, after some recent comments by one former executive, I thought it appropriate to come back to it now since she resorted to some of the same defenses as to why she, and others, supposedly didn’t question allegations more. As usual it tends to take the “I’m guilty but I’m really not” tactic.

The basic claim is that Dad presented his defense as one of spiritual warfare, and that the defense of Dad from those closest to him was based all on his word and not on any examination of the facts. All of that is false, as I’ll explain below.

I’ll say one thing for the vocal former RZIM people – they’ve done a remarkable job of supposedly accepting “responsibility” while simultaneously blaming anyone else in the organization for their own inability to see the “truth.” In essence, if their take is true, they are saying, “I’m so sorry I was so easily manipulated, misled and subjective in my analysis of the facts. I’m so sorry my belief in and love of the person caused me to miss the ‘truth.’”

That is unfortunate for many reasons. For one thing, it’s the scandal defense equivalent of when the hiring manager asks you for your biggest weakness and you say it’s that you care too much.

But beyond that, they talk about all the ways they were misled, gullible, and undiscerning, and then they claim to be experts at analyzing evidence and logic.

Awkward.

Also, this same individual that recently commented, helped lead a dramatic break with the US organization after the report came out. They said they didn’t want to be associated with an organization and brand that had so badly mishandled this. Then they ran off with the historic building paid for by the US organization and still use it today.

And, fun fact, though they took a public stance in breaking with the organization in February of 2020, they continued to accept their regular funding from them through the end of the fiscal year, which would have ended Sept 30, 2020. Not surprisingly, they didn’t make a public statement about that. And the UK office was almost entirely funded by the US, so that was no small amount. That means the break was on paper and in interviews about taking a stand because of their belief in alleged victims, but it wasn’t in their bank accounts. And if what we’ve been told is true, some within that group, have possibly accepted funds from RZIM since, and will continue to do so. They were “ethical” enough to publicly denounce my Dad and the US Board, but not so ethical that they couldn’t privately accept their assets, which were all raised on Dad’s name.

With that preamble said, what follows next is what I originally wrote for this post.

Below is an email written to my Dad from Abdu Murray in 2017. Abdu was closely involved in conversations with Dad and other members of leadership regarding the accusations in 2017, as well as Steve Baughman’s regular attacks against my Dad. He knew the information very well, as well as all the people involved. Abdu was with Dad when he met with Baughman, and Abdu’s analysis, both before and after that meeting, was that Baughman was “crazy.”

This email contradicts the narrative that some ex and current RZIM people are running with now, which is that their belief in Dad back in 2017 was based purely on their trust in him and not any evidence. But here you’ll see that Abdu mentions he knows the facts and considers Dad to be clearly innocent.

As a side note, when the C&MA did their first investigation, Dad was not alone in that room with their investigators. There was another leadership member in there to observe (it was not Abdu). The investigators did not hold back in their questions. That staff member heard the questions, heard Dad’s answers, and heard all the information that the investigators had on the situation. That person came out of that process still completely convinced of Dad’s innocence. There was no question in his mind. So the notion that Dad didn’t face tough questions and that leadership didn’t get extensive answers is not true.

The M&M report also painted a picture of Dad as a man who was secretive, evasive, vindictive and calculating. If true, that would show up in all kinds of ways. But in this note Abdu gives Dad high praise for the integrity with which he lived, and the way that he inspired others to act in the same manner.

Also, some have stated Dad’s belief that the attacks were spiritual warfare designed to stop him. But they’ve acted like he was the one who pushed it. You’ll see in this email that Dad was not alone in that conviction.

In short, Abdu knew the details better than most and got to observe Dad more closely than many. He considered Dad to be a man of high integrity. He is also an attorney and he clearly considered Dad innocent, and considered the accuser to be undeniably dishonest.

(And as it relates to those 2017 accusations, nothing in the report changed the understood facts of that case. RZIM just decided to accept it, despite all of their due diligence years ago that told them otherwise. As I’ve stated before, they chose the PR path. The only way to appease the mob and to protect their names was to act like everything ever mentioned or alleged was true, regardless of what the facts did or did not say).

Here is the text of the email, as well as screenshots.

Dear Ravi,


The past few days may have been trying for you with Christians seemingly eager to jump onto the side of Mr. Baugham’s misrepresentations. You’ve been in ministry much longer than I have and so saying something to you about all of this may seem obvious. But I’ve been thinking of you all day and felt compelled to write this to you.


I’ve never been one to over-spiritualized things by blaming Satan for every adversity we might face in life or even ministry in specific. But what I’ve seen in the past few months has me thoroughly convinced that spiritual forces are aligning to try to slow your effectiveness or even stifle it altogether. The reason? Because more people than ever, those with global influence and those whose influence goes no further than their immediate families, are coming to know the Lord through your ministry.

And so, strangely, maybe you can take some solace in the fact that you’re under unfair scrutiny and subject to slander because God is using you perhaps more effectively than ever in your decades-long ministry. The enemy would like nothing more than for fewer people to hear what God has to say through you and so is using critics (sadly including Christians) to limit your audiences and distract you from God’s calling. I’m privileged to be part of what God is doing through RZIM and will work with you and the team to stem these efforts to silence you. Though we shouldn’t be surprised by the attacks in light of the ministry’s success, the attacks still hurt, I’m sure.


You’ve impacted so many, including and especially people on your team who know the facts and don’t doubt your integrity. In fact, we’ve been inspired by it to act with integrity in our own ministries. Even now, I’m fully confident that your chief concerns have not been for yourself. They’ve been for Jesus’ reputation, the gospel’s advancement, your family, and your teammates. That’s the kind of character for which I left my own ministry to work with RZIM.


Countless Scriptures come to mind about facing persecution and even slander and despiteful use. I’m sure I don’t need to remind you of them. Suffice it to say that your endurance through all of this has been an example for those of us who might face similar scrutiny one day. You’ve taught us through words, but especially by example. I’m forever grateful for that.


Grateful to call you friend, Abdu

Third Ladder

I believe that one day my Dad’s actual legacy will be restored. One piece of that – a huge piece – is his vision for humanitarian aid, and he entrusted it to my sister Naomi.

Together, they pursued the idea of showing that apologetics is not just a matter for the brain, it’s one of the heart. Apologetics is incomplete if you don’t pair it with a compassionate heart and a helping hand. We’re missing a crucial step if we say we follow Christ, but don’t help those who are hungry, hurting, and lonely.

Jesus came to fix the needs of our heart. But our physical needs also matter to Him, and He asked us to take them seriously on behalf of others.

The ministry of Wellspring gave millions to those in need over the years. People are alive today because of that vision. People have food today because of that vision. Women have been rescued and healed because of that vision.

Wellspring was shut down by RZIM, but that can’t take away the literal life giving impact it had. And they can’t take away the fact that it was a direct result of my Dad’s heart for those in need.

Though Wellspring is now gone, there is good news, because the people behind it are not.

As projects responded in shock and fear over what their future now held following Wellspring’s closure, Naomi and her team decided they couldn’t let circumstances out of their control stop the work they were doing. They decided to rebuild and do all they could to support their projects, and hopefully find additional ones, as well.

They launched Third Ladder as a result.

Their support is unknown as the potential donor based starts over from scratch. But the integrity, mission, and opportunity are strong. And there you’ll a group of people dedicated to connecting your heart with the heart of someone in need.

Right now they have a generous match grant offered to them – one donor will match every gift received by December 31st, up to a total of $60,000 USD. Your money can be doubled in the effort to support projects that bring physical healing to burn victims, to feed a family, to rescue women in trafficking, to give children a home and an education.

If you’re thinking of giving at this time of year, I would encourage you to take a look at Third Ladder. (www.thirdladder.org)

Why So Silent?

I’ve been asked by a number of people if the recent lack of posts is an indication of a change in status in our belief in my Dad’s innocence. The answer to that is a resounding no. We have not found anything, seen anything, or been offered the opportunity to see anything that supports the report.

I’ve made it clear that we have not found any evidence on the phones. I’ve shown an example of data that deliberately misrepresented, so why should I assume they didn’t do that with other data?

I’ve made it clear that this process was anything but fair, and didn’t even adhere to traditionally held legal standards for investigations of this nature.

There was no chain of custody for the devices. It didn’t maintain impartiality or objectivity. At times it takes information that is neutral, and intentionally frames it in a negative context, which proves this was not an evidence based report but a narrative.

The report biased some interviewees against Dad by telling them they already had the proof that he was guilty BEFORE they questioned the people to get their views. The effect of that caused at least one interviewee revisit their observations and reframe it in a negative light.

They intentionally wrote the report as a narrative, not a presentation of known facts. Motives that cannot be even known were declared as intentionally devious behavior.

The investigation intentionally left out those that knew him best and could actually disprove a lot of of what was being said. It didn’t pursue any investigation in the areas where they claimed to have the most evidence. And the more extreme charges had no evidence whatsoever. And to reiterate, we have not seen what little evidence they claim was so plentiful on the phones.

One woman interviewed told us the investigators did not want to accept her answer that Dad never behaved inappropriately. She said she finally said “You can keep asking me this question, but Ravi and his entire family were never anything but kind and respectful to me, there is not other story here.” Another that was interviewed told us the investigator actually broke the table in anger when she defended Dad’s character.

It was a biased process and a biased report.

As for the blog, I will add this: Mom and Naomi were in severance discussions as a result of Mom being told to resign and Naomi being terminated. In May, RZIM withdrew severance offers for them, citing anger over this blog and my Mom’s email defending my Dad. This caused me to scale back the blog, since they were leveraging the wellbeing of my Mom and sister against my right to defend my Dad.

It was a threat that ultimately held, as when they eventually revisited a severance offer months later, it came with a mandatory muzzle.

We chose not to sell our voice.

Phone Update

If you follow me on Instagram, this post has repeat information. But though it’s brief, I’m posting it here, as well, to make sure anyone following this has access to the info.

Several have asked of late if there is any update on what I’ve found on the phones. We have not had them forensically examined, yet. But in the meantime I have looked through them as thoroughly as I’m able to.

The initial search found no questionable photos, no questionable emails/texts, and an example of the investigators taking at least one piece of “evidence” out of its original context and giving it a context that was blatantly false. (See the previous post for that information.)

The update in this post is that I’ve gone through the 100+ videos on the phones and found none of them to be even remotely concerning or suspicious. They were all videos of our family, jokes, Hindi songs, and clips of some of his favorite classic shows like the Andy Griffith Show and The Honeymooners.

Once again, this includes the phone that allegedly had the majority of the “evidence.” Their speculative explanation for this device being a treasure trove of information was that since it was out of use by the time the allegations of 2017 were made, it was not going to be examined, so Dad must not have taken the time to clear it of any damning evidence.

But a treasure trove, it is not. Well, not for those who want to believe Dad is guilty.

What We’ve Seen On the Phones So Far

For many reasons, we have only just now begun the process of looking through Dad’s phones. It is very early in the process, so there are many things we are still looking for information on. The examination is by no means complete, yet. That will take time by us and time by experts. But it has already proven very helpful.

I can tell you that so far I have not seen any questionable/concerning photos in both of the phones I have searched. I also have not found any questionable/concerning correspondence or data. This includes the device they supposedly found the most information.

But what is also of interest is what I did find. The report said Dad had a note in his phone for how to say “a little bit further” in Thai. They (Miller & Martin) presented that information in a way that alleged that his interest in, and use of, the phrase were for illicit/sexual reasons.

Well here is where I found the phrase. The context is….not what they said, to put it mildly.

Directions. That’s why he had the phrase noted. “Just a little bit further” is in a list of terms to direct a cab driver. Left. Right. Straight. Bridge. And “a little bit further.” The context could not be clearer.

What is also clear, is the dishonest intent of the people who wrote that report. There is no reasonable way you can see that list and think that phrase has an inappropriate connotation. Their misrepresentation of this detail is blatant.

So if their case was so rock solid, why did they need to lie about the context of this note?

And what other information and “evidence” did they lie about, misrepresent or manufacture?

Not A Massage Parlor

One of the (many) ways that bloggers and media have intentionally spun details in a dishonest and negative way is in regards to the spa Dad helped start. They keep referring to it as a massage parlor. That is not at all what Jivan/Touch of Eden was. (It was one place, not two. They changed the name at one point.)

Massage parlors are basically fronts for sexual behavior. That is really the only context in which that term is used now. Jivan/Eden was not a massage parlor. What’s interesting about people insisting about using the term massage parlor, is that they’re the same people who say they are championing women and declaring these sources of the story as victims. But by calling it a massage parlor they’re implicating these same women as essentially sex workers who would have regularly provided illegal services to clients of Jivan. That is what massage parlors do. So they can’t have it both ways in the way they frame this.

My guess is that the former employees of Jivan would not take too kindly to being categorized as having worked at a massage parlor. Nor would any legitimate massage therapist anywhere.

Jivan was a legit spa/salon. Several people have written me saying it’s hard to believe dads innocence since he opened a “massage parlor.” One person asked why Dad couldn’t just go to a place like Massage Envy or Massage Heights. That is a result of writers using the massage parlor term. They know full well what they’re doing.

Well, in response to that comment I received, Jivan was meant to be exactly like a Massage Heights business. It was meant to be that kind of reputable establishment. That was the style of business they were offering. They offered, massages, facials, manicures, etc: all the things a legitimate and fully professional spa offers. The same kind of set up you’d find in a five star hotel. Not to mention the fact that the property owner was a well respected Christian business man who also would not have allowed an inappropriate business at one of his properties.

Not the Behavior of a Guilty Man

Dad included some big names at the opening of the business, and encouraged them to visit the spa. The Mayor of the city and Governor of Georgia spoke at the grand opening. Do you think Dad would include them – and do you think they would come – if the business appeared to be suspicious in any way? He wouldn’t, and they wouldn’t.

Vicki Blue was one person who dad would hire to come give chair massages to the entire staff? If he was doing the things she claims he was, do you think he would invite her to interact with the entire office? The risk of her saying something to someone would be huge. But he regularly connected his friends and staff with her, and he sent any and everyone he could to Jivan. A guilty man would not have done either of those things if the people and environment of Jivan were ground zero for inappropriate behavior from him or anyone else.

Jivan was not a massage parlor. The critics know it. And their insistence on the term shows their disingenuousness in examining this situation.

Bonus Fact

This has nothing to do with the report, but I’ll share it anyways. One of the things Steve Baughman accused my Dad of lying about at one point, was his address at the African Heads of State Prayer Breakfast.

That accusation was especially entertaining for me since I was actually at the event. But while cleaning out some of Dad’s things I found the program from the event. So I’m posting it here.

I doubt Steve still cares about this particular claim at this point. He may have even stopped talking about it a while so. If he does still care his issue might be the use of “Dr.” in the program. He and the rest of the Western academics who weren’t invited to speak at this event can grumble about the fact that the inviting party had no issue with the title.

But I do care about the things he’s said about my Dad. So here is the proof of this event for those who still question it.

Sarah’s Statement

My sister, Sarah, recently gave a video statement on the situation with my Dad. There was no new information given, and she did not say anything she has not already said in her previous statements over the past few months. It was the same talking points.

She is not speaking for the family. As has been clear, we do not share her take on this situation. A while back she chose the path of doing what she felt was best, strategically, for the organization. We disagree with her opinions and stance very strongly. And we do so for very legitimate reasons.

So I will simply close this response with this: I love my sister, but I stand by my belief in my Dad. I continue to reject the report and narrative put forth for all of the reasons I have already laid out on this blog.